who would've thought YOU of all people would become my closest friend right now. yeah, closest. i've kind of withdrawn from everyone else since i started my new job, and really haven't made an effort to see anyone else. ever since the second we started talking, i've felt really close to you, and i still do. i like it. i trust you. i never trust anyone. i hope this doesn't get messed up.

I have a blogspot..
this is essentially neglected.
:|

At times I wish I had more to write here than just some vague lines that pertain to my life but you, the reader, have no idea how. However, my life is so incredibly boring, I reeeeally don't think anyone would care to read about my days. Let's give'r a go anyway, shall we?

I spend almost every waking moment working. It's alright, though, because my job is solid. Lately, when I'm not working, I'm downloading songs off of Rolling Stone's 500 Greatest Songs Of All Time list. It's pretty fantastic and I'm not even halfway through.

I finally got to see Juno. I've been waiting months for this movie, and was so angered when it pulled a Napoleon Dynamite and only released itself in select theaters. I trucked all the way to Toronto with Ernie to see it, though and it was SO worth it. Although I can officially declare bankruptcy, now. SO. WORTH. IT. It's my new favourite movie. That's saying a lot. I need to see it again, asap.

My mom is bald. Her hair started falling out because of the chemo, in big chunks, and I guess she didn't want to deal with it any longer, so she shaved it. Well, it's really hard to deal with, personally, so I can just imagine how she's feeling. Her eyelashes fall out as she tries to put mascara on them.. sigh.

Well.. I dunno. That's about it?....

AYFKM?!

daily staple: a homemade mug of hot chocolate
repeat if necessary.

everyone needs to stop telling me to eat. i eat okay?
fuck. it's pretty obvious i eat.


happy birthday karleigh. i miss you a ton.

he drove so cautiously, which is extremely uncharacteristic for him. it was as if he knew how fragile i was. it was as if he wouldn't dare risk breaking me.

i met matt good tonight
he was a very pleasant man

the show was fantastic

venge·ful (vnjfl)
adj.
1. Desiring vengeance; vindictive.
2. Indicating or proceeding from a desire for revenge.
3. Serving to exact vengeance.

my nintendo ds never leaves my side.

i just finished applying to colleges for january 2008.
i feel so strange right now.

"The true way to render ourselves happy is to love our work and find in it our pleasure."

Maybe that's why I'm so happy lately. I truly love my job. I am not just satisfied with it, I love it. I feel comfortable there, and I love everyone I work with. If I screw this up, I will lose my mind.




PS - If I don't talk to you first, I doubt we'll ever speak again.

"Nothing happens unless first a dream."

Mark my words, I will make it happen. I will become everything I want to become and achieve everything I want to achieve. I'm very excited.

"You can eat an elephant if you do it one bite at a time."

I really need to stop stressing out so much and taking things one step at a time. I have far too much on my plate and it is severely overwhelming me. I'm not used to this. I've never been in this situation. There is so much that I want, so much that I need. I need to take a big breath, relax..

Could someone please tell me, honestly.. is it that big of a deal that I haven't gone to college yet? Okay, I am 21 years old, and I have no post-secondary education under my belt to date. Why? Because I have NO idea what I want to do for the next 40 odd years of my life. That's a very expensive decision, and I can't afford to make a mistake. But really, is that so bad?

Last entry I said something positive needs to happen for me. Well, that was an incorrect statement. Positive things have happened for me lately. For example, I've gotten a full time job that I love. My mother and I are getting along better.. What I meant by "something positive needs to happen for me" is that I want something to put a smile on my face. I want something fun, something new, something exciting. I want adventure.


I am so overwhelmed.

"Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose."

I always want to run away when something disappointing happens in my life. Just pack up and start new somewhere else. I think I am going to get my American citizenship, finally. That'll give me a whole new country full of cities I can escape to and start over. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I feel carefree.

Something positive needs to happen for me.

"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."

Time for a fresh start. I believe this journal will be more private than anything, and I am very much okay with that.

I've also come to realize something about myself: nothing gives me greater pleasure than to see someone smile. Except perhaps if I am the reason they are smiling. I've 're-discovered', in a sense, the smile I've always found most beautiful of all the smiles I've come to see, and I hope I see much more of it from now on.